Finding your calm is easier said than done when everything feels all over the place. When you seek peace, calm is what you need. Without calm, there’s only chaos. Everything seems out of control.
There are two types of people. One who wakes up peaceful and feeling calm. Over time, they lose that peace and calm because life keeps happening. The other set of folks are those who wake up with angst and life keeps getting worse, or they are smart and quickly get busy with the day. Maybe if they are smarter, the day begins with a workout regimen.
When you move your body, you feel happier and calmer.
Before we go about how to be calm, let’s discuss why you need it
When you come from any place but calm, you are not in control, you are not in charge of the situation. Sometimes people use aggression to be in control, but that’s short-lived. They scream and yell, or they cry and have meltdowns. In the short term, they have your attention, but in the long run, they can never be in charge.
When I ask people what they want, most people stay quiet for a minute or two. They came with a problem in mind, which is related to mostly anxiety or grief or sometimes both. It’s situational – either relationship-related, career, or health. But when I ask them, “What do you want?” after their moment of silence, they say either “I have this anxiety” or “I want peace.”
To find peace, you need to be calm, like a still lake, where the moon is reflected as a perfect white ball amidst the dark waters.
When you find your calm, you get to keep your cool.
How to be calm?
Once when Buddha was thirsty, his student took a pitcher and went to the village pond. A bullock cart had crossed the pond and the water had gotten muddy.
With a gloomy face, the student returned with an empty pitcher. “Let’s rest for a while. The pond will also get time to settle down and get clearer.”
Your mind is like that pond that is stirred up. Let it rest for a bit with no thoughts at all. When your mind is not spinning at a million miles a second, it will settle down and you will get to experience calm.
When your mind is calm, you feel peace. Your relationships look beautiful and you feel grateful. Your work doesn’t seem like such a burden. You feel gratitude to have work that gives you more options in life. You are excited to be of service to your employers and clients.
When you feel calm, even your health is better. A calmer mind exists only in a rested body. Since you feel rested, you feel stronger and ready for the world.
when you find your calm, You live by choice, not by chance.
Steps on how to be calm
#1 Be still, be silent
Once someone asked Thay Thich Nhat Hahn: “What should I do? I do not have twenty minutes to meditate.” Thay’s response: “Then you need to meditate for an hour, so you can find your twenty minutes.”
Each of us has the same twenty-four hours in a day. And within this time allotted to us, you might want to find at least twenty minutes for your soul care. It's solitude where you get to retreat and rejuvenate your soul. This feeds your mind and, in turn, centers your heart and eventually calms your body.
Time for you means time with you. You have to work on being the person you want to hang out with. Twenty minutes of sitting still with yourself is hard because your mind is rampant with a million thoughts or a single thought spinning in circles.
Each thought comes in with its entourage of emotions. Remember, everything begins with a thought, and this thought gives rise to an emotion. An emotion gives rise to another thought which gives rise to another emotion. Each thought is a memory. Memories come from the past.
Or you have desires that are pulling you towards the future. Your desires are familiar ones that come from the past. And this tug of war between regrets and fantasies continued shredding your peace into pieces. All this goes on within you constantly in your subconscious mind which you aren't consciously aware of.
That’s why it’s important to sit still. Once someone said to me “I feel very sleepy when I meditate, so I don’t meditate.” Meditation will take you to a place of no worries and like a baby, you can sleep. What’s wrong with that?
Would you rather live with your worries, or have the enthusiasm and joy of a baby?
When you find calm, you can replace your uncertainties with curiosity and have anything you want.
#2 Fluids help you flow to find your calm
I cannot over-emphasize the importance of sipping herbal teas and water with lime/lemon throughout the day. The moment you have something coming up that is dragging you away from your calm, reach out for that cup of tea or bottle of water close by.
This is your life savior. Your body is 75% water. Would you rather have fresh water flowing through your cells or have them submerged in old gunky liquids?
Drink plenty of water so you do not feel yourself stepping away from your peace. You know what to do when you do: drink water. Notice how you feel and remember that feeling.
#3 A little nap goes a long way in you keeping your calm
In between any two tasks, I go and stretch my body horizontally. You could do that too. Maybe a mat, a recliner, a couch, or even your car seat. Try to lean back or lie down, and keep your eyes shut. Rest your hands over your lower chest or upper abdomen. Feel the wave of your breath flowing through your body beneath it.
This restores the calm. Suddenly you are the master of your own life.
You are old enough to release regrets from your past. you are too young to fret over your future.
Enjoy your calm in all situations to the best of your abilities. As long as you practice, you will get better at it and your life will seem flooded with possibilities. Give peace a chance and live a charmed life.
Find Your Calm with Coach Keya
With love,
Your Coach Keya,
Urban Shaman, Alchemist
P.S.: Want to find your calm? Book your Complimentary 30-minute Strategy Session with me. I look forward to our time together.
