I remember being exactly six months short of my 40th birthday and saying to myself, "Oh no! The big 4-0 will be here and my life will go downhill!"
As a teenager, I thought turning 40 was growing old. In my 20s, I thought those in their 50s were old, and in my 30s, the consensus among us high-flying in the tech world of young savvy engineers was that life right now is as good as it gets — “when you turn 40” you peak, and then everything goes downhill from there.
With that mindset, I started my downhill to traverse through the valley of midlife and climb the new peak of turning 50. In 2001, I lost my job as a six-figure earning software engineer. I asked myself "what next?" Everyone expected me to return to the IT (information and technology) industry, but my heart said "No!"
What should I do with my life now that I am in my midlife?
I had a dream. I went on a trip to the Himalayas and meditated, and I realized that I was asking the wrong questions and hence getting either no answers or answers that didn’t feel right.
The question came to me and it was “what are you good at?” I knew right away that I was good at being happy and healthy, feeling safe, and living in love.
I know that to have something that matters, help others have it and you will have it too. If you want more money in your life, help others make money. If you want peace in your life, help others have more peace. If you want to be healthy, help others be healthy. You get my drift.
Maybe you can’t bring peace and health to the world, but you can bring it into your world. The people around you are what makes your world. Focus on helping them have what you seek for yourself. Get started with something.
When does midlife begin?
I remember turning 43 and a colleague complimenting how young we were. My daughter said, “Mom! You are no longer young, you are in your midlife.” I was silent. She asked, “When do you think midlife begins?” Fifty? Sixty? I thought to myself, but remained silent.
She continued, “If you are thinking 50 or 60, then think about it: do people live to be 100 or 120? No! Midlife means the middle of your life. You have lived half of your life and you have to live the other half.”
Now that I am in my midlife, what's next?
So, I decided that for the first half of my life I lived by the rules of my heritage and society, and now I'm going to make up my own rules and live and play by them. I was going to fulfill my dreams.
Again, the question was “what are my dreams?” I only know how to be happy and healthy. I know how to love. I know how to face any fear and find courage. I live in faith that all is well, no matter in what form it shows up. But how would I live the rest of my life was an unanswered question.
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The Esoteric Aspect of Midlife
In astrology, Uranus takes 84 years to return to where it was when you were born. It stays in each sign for seven years. So, in your 40s, Uranus is exactly in your opposite sign staring back at you. Uranus rules Aquarius and is here to teach you non-attachment, shift your paradigms, and give you opportunities to live your dreams.
So, in your 40s, you could go wild and start dating someone half your age, or go really wild and start fulfilling your dreams from your early years. Maybe you wanted to paint, play an instrument, grow a garden, learn a new language, volunteer, or travel to some place and live there.
Whatever that dream is, get started. There is enough scientific evidence to prove that when you do something different, your brain produces new neural pathways. Instead of growing old, you feel younger, or in other words, you grow up.
The Best Part of Midlife
I know an artist who took up real estate investment in her 40s, and in her 60s, AKA the golden years, she lives off her real estate investment from 20 years ago. She’s hard at work and loving every bit of it.
You might have heard the saying, “It’s never too late to live your childhood.” You could say, “It’s never too late to live my life my way.” As long as you remain ecological, the universe will support you.
The word ecology here means what’s good for you must be good for your family, your neighborhood, your nation, and the planet. Your creator wants you to live your life not by chance but by choice. You have permission to design your life and live life on your terms.
Those who love you will support you. And, those who don’t love you will leave you. You don’t want to live with those who don’t love you, do you?
How to Make the Most of Your Midlife
If you are wondering "what should I do with my midlife?" I will ask you to ask yourself, “what could I do with my midlife?” Also, you could ask, “What would I love to do with my midlife and create a life on my terms that those who love me and I will feel worth living?”
Without sounding morbid, the only guarantee in life is that everyone born will one day die. People do not regret dying, people regret a life not lived. So, return to your dreams and ask yourself, "What am I good at or what do I want to get good at?"
It’s not about finding meaning in life. Life is about finding meaning in what you do. When you wake up, ask yourself, “Now that I am awake, how can I find meaning in my day, today?” Visualize a beautiful day ahead of you.
Affirm, “The people I work with and work for are having a great day, and so am I. Everyone is happy and healthy just like me. Everyone has enough money in the bank and enjoys the perfect meals with the perfect people, including me.”
If you like journaling, write these words down. Find meaning in the little things and live a meaningful life, one day at a time. This is what I do to live my life and help my clients with, and so can you.
Keya Murthy, M.S., works as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Spiritual Life Coach, and Energy Medicine Practitioner at Ventura Healing Center where she helps her clients find clarity, focus, and fulfillment. Also, she’s a #1 International Best-selling Author. Her 11th book is The Book on Happiness: How to Have Peace and Stability As A Working Mom, available on Amazon for you to explore and enjoy.