On fear and want – A mystical approach
“We fear the thing we want the most.” – Robert Anthony, Author
What we want is not a need, it is something to desire, a luxury. We can only want something that is want-able, something we can live without and yet it haunts us. It is this wanting that is sacred and precious, and we obsess over it.
Once my Baba (guru – spiritual father) asked in the class, “who here is afraid of me?” I was even afraid to raise my hand and admit that I feared him. I half raised my hand supporting that elbow with my other hand. Later on I wondered what was this fear about. Over time I realized this fear came from such deep love and surrender that I never wanted to disappoint him. My constant quest has been to live up to his standards and expectations. And this wanting to be like him in each step, in every breath, comes across as fear.
This wanting is a fear of never disappointing the self.